Tips for Parents for Disrupting a Gaming Addiction

In our psychotherapy clinic, we have seen a significant increase in the number of families who are experiencing disruption due to conflicts stemming from the use of technology and gaming in the home.  Compulsive video gaming is a modern-day psychological disorder that is becoming more and more popular among children, teens and young adults.  Gaming addiction is defined as extreme use of digital video games that interferes with daily life. Instances have been reported in which users play compulsively, isolating themselves from family and friends or from other forms of socialization, and focus almost entirely on in-game achievements rather than other actual real life events while exhibiting mood swings and lack of motivation for other activities. There is no formal diagnosis of video game addiction in current medical or psychological literature, although inclusion of it as a psychological disorder has been proposed.  Players may play many hours per day, neglect personal hygiene, gain or lose significant weight due to playing, disrupt sleep patterns to play resulting in extreme fatigue, problems concentrating and focusing on school and work and stagnated social development.  Two common signs of addiction include: (1) a person needing more and more of a substance or behavior to keep him going; and (2) If the person does not get more of the substance or behavior, he becomes irritable and miserable.  Both of these indicators are commonly found in teens and young adults who become addicted to gaming.  Most gaming addicts tend to be males under the age of 30.  They tend to have few friends, social problems and be highly intelligent. For gamers, the gaming becomes a fantasy world that makes them feel better. Their virtual life becomes more appealing than real life. 

Listed below are five steps parents can take to help a child who has developed a gaming addiction:

(1)     Be proactive in monitoring and evaluating your child’s gaming behaviors.  It is a mistake to assume that gaming is just a phase and to ignore the problem.

(2)    Intervene and disrupt the formation of an addiction.  This would include unplugging the computer and setting and enforcing limits on time spent gaming.

(3)    In today’s technology driven society, because video game addicts can't avoid computers, parents need to teach their children to use them responsibly such as for research, learning and homework as opposed to only gaming.

(4)    Assist your child in developing interests, hobbies and talents that don’t involve technology and help to create "real-life excitement as opposed to online excitement."

(5)    Find a therapist who can assist you and your child in designing and implementing a reasonable plan for managing your child’s gaming behaviors.  A therapist experienced in working with youth and gaming addiction can provide support and guidance for both you and your child as you work to disrupt the addiction.

When online gaming becomes an obsession for teens

Gaming addiction, also referred to as tech addiction or technology addiction refers to teens who become obsessed to online games is becoming a common problem that families face.

With the advance in computer graphics and technology, online video games are increasingly more visually enticing to children and teens that are spending more time in front of computer screens playing games.  Mental health experts are noting a trend in problems among these teen gamers.  Among the problems observed include a detachment from the reality of life around them at the expense of school success, development of a social life, physical activity and family responsibilities.  Some teen gamers forego eating and sleeping as they interact with screen characters such as enemy soldiers, zombies, aliens, wizards and monsters.

Video game addiction isn’t just limited to children and teens.  The trend has even been noted in young adult gamers and even married men who spend hours daily engaged in on-line gaming.

Common behaviors among teen and young adult gaming addicts include staying online gaming for seven or eight hours at a time, staying up most of the night playing video games and choosing gaming over social and recreational activities.

Tech addicted teens argue that they are socializing while gaming because they play online with other gamers around the world and suggest that their online friends relate to them more than kids at school or in the neighborhood. They suggest that having relationships with characters in the game is an adequate substitute for face to face interaction with others. For many teen gaming addicts however, the game provides an escape for their struggling social life.  A characteristic of some gamers includes struggles to make and maintain friendships in real life.

Skeptics argue that obsession with video games doesn’t constitute a genuine addiction disputing whether the dependency exhibited is the same type of physical craving triggered by drugs or alcohol.  Parents of video games addicts would offer a differing opinion as the behaviors manifested by their children including lying, arguing, defiance, school failure, negative attitude and laziness are similar to behaviors noted in teens addicted to drugs or alcohol.

The types of games to which teens addict vary from shooter games to sci-fi adventure journeys.  Many agree however that "massive multiplayer online roleplaying games"(MMPORG) as the most addictive. A gamers success in these types of games is entirely dependent on the amount of time the game is played. Occasional gaming playing in MMPORG leaves the gamer behind those who put in more time.  This drives many teen gamers to revolving their life around playing the game.

For parents who are struggling with a teen obsessed with gaming, help is available.  Family Bootcamp is an ideal intervention to assist both the addicted teen and the parents with the implementation of a family plan for managing teen gaming addictions.

Assessing the parents role in a child's gaming addiction

In our work with children and teens it is rare to encounter a young person who does not play video games.  While the research varies on the percentages, a common estimate is that 90% of children play computer games while 10% of them are addicted.  While many youth are able to effectively juggle the demands of school, family life, social life and technology, those who are unable to do so experience problems that often times lead to a variety of mental health issues.  In this cases, it is important for the parents to become proactive in disrupting the formation of an addiction.

Internet computer games have an addictive dimension to them for which some young people are very vulnerable. Those children and teens impacted by gaming addiction often become depressed, their school work suffers, they drop other interests such as sports and the level of their social interaction decreases.

Experts suggest that video games fall into 3 motivational drives for teens:

Social: games include Minecraft and Farmville, where players can hang out with ‘friends’ and control their world.

Pleasure: games include Black Ops Call of Duty, World of Warcraft,  and World of Tanks; these games reward the player intermittently so they are motivated to keep playing to get the next pleasure hit. These games are often Massive Multi Player online games and are played against opponents all over the world.

Pain: games include World of Warcraft. They punish players who log off by threatening to take away any rewards or points that have been gamed so the players keep playing to secure their position and avoid loss.

How do parents know when their child needs help for a gaming addiction?

-Large amounts of time spent in Gaming: They spend more time on the computer than physically hanging out with their friends.

-Emotional Dependency on Gaming: The teen feels content when they’re online or playing games, but as soon as they have to stop, they become depressed, grouchy and irritable.

-Sleeping Problems: They go to bed very late and have trouble sleeping.

-Preoccupation with Gaming: They think about going online or playing when they are supposed to be focusing on other things, like doing school work or participating in other social activities.

Ideas for parents for helping a child overcome gaming addiction.

-Confront it: Help the child recognize they have a problem by engaging them in discussion about their struggles in school, in participation in social activities and lack of interest in other outside activities.

-Take Control: Manage their use of media and technology.  You are the parent and you need to set the rules for the use of technology in your home.  This may include limiting internet/computer time, taking away the use of hand held devices and rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior through technology privileges.

-Prioritize your child’s time: Computer games should be played in free time so help decide when free time is and what other commitments they might have (e.g. chores, homework, other activities).

-Enforce bed time rules: Train your child to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Often, someone addicted to computer games will stay up late. Get them to go to bed earlier each day, so instead of the early hours of the morning it is a reasonable time in the evening.

-Arrange recreational and social activities: Replace computer time with more productive activities. They can exercise, play sports, participate in community activities, read or do something else that stimulates and interests them.

-Encourage daily face to face interaction with peers: Encourage them to go out with their friends more. Provide opportunities for healthy peer interaction and activities ou