Extended stays now available for teens for summer camp dates

Family Bootcamp offers a therapeutic summer camp experience designed to impact both the teen and his/her parents.  After an active day of hiking, learning to build fire with sticks, building a shelter and cooking his/her own meals over a camp fire, your child will experience a feeling that is largely unknown to many youth today.

Due to the onslaught of technology, many youth spend their waking hours in front of a computer screen or on a hand-held device, texting, gaming and surfing endlessly.   Too many youth today have developed a dependency to being entertained by their technology and have lost the ability to manage the emotional demands of the lives without escaping into technology.

With skilled outdoor specialists guiding them, the youth spend five days learning how to experience the remote, high desert of Southern Utah with only the supplies they can strap to their back.    Being unplugged from ALL technology and outside communication provides a strong "wake up call moment" for the  youth to focus and take responsibility for all aspects of their  well-being including cooking, caring for their supplies and learning to use only the elements of the desert to live.

We are happy to announce an extended stay option for Family Bootcamp youth for the May, June, July and August dates.  Parents have the option to arrange for their child to remain in the program beyond the five days.  The extended stay can last from a week to several weeks.   The length of stay depends on the youth’s progress.  Parents work closely with their therapist in determining the amount of time for their child to remain in the program.  

Enroll Your Family Today!  Call 800.584.4629

A Christmas vacation your teen will never forget!

Are you worried about the Christmas break and the family problems that this time of year can bring? If you are like many families, the holidays can be a difficult period of time. In fact, some studies show an increase in family conflicts during the holiday season.  These problems range from kids who spend days at a time glued to a computer screen developing a gaming addiction while ignoring all other aspects of life, to parents subjected to the whining complaints of an entitled teen that is ungrateful for their Christmas gifts.

 Whatever your situation may be, consider giving your teen a holiday present they will never forget—five days in the wilderness of Southern Utah!  Come to warm and sunny St. George with your teen and spend five days of your Holiday season with us at Family Bootcamp.  The next expedition is scheduled for December 26th through 30th and slots are still available!  

Your teen will spend five days learning how to survive in the remote, high desert of Southern Utah with only the supplies they can strap to their back.   Being unplugged from ALL technology and outside communication provides a strong "wake up call moment" for the youth to focus and take responsibility for the simple day-to-day tasks of their  well-being including cooking, caring for their supplies and learning to use only the elements of the desert to live.

While your teen is experiencing the wilderness, you remain in St. George and participate in an intensive two day "Parenting Boot Camp."   Under the direction of “Doc Dan”, parents engage in two days of comprehensive parent training sessions focused on the discovery and disruption of unhealthy family dynamics.  Dr. Sanderson's trademark theory of Developmental Vacation provides the underpinnings of the instruction.

Time is of the essence as the next expedition begins next Thursday, so call us today at 800.584.4629 and give your teen a Christmas vacation they will never forget!

Why are today's teens so vulnerable to developing a pornography addiction?

 Mental health professionals are seeing a pattern of more and more teens and young adults seeking treatment for problems related to pornography addiction and its accompanying behaviors.   This pattern leads to the need for further analysis as to why this is occurring and what the long-term ramifications of this may be.

Studies already suggest that most adults struggling with sexual addiction first developed the addiction during adolescence.  Does this pattern predict an epidemic of future sexual addiction?

The Youth Pornography Addiction Center was founded in 2010 and has been studying this trend and providing treatment to teens and young adults in this area since that time.  Based on its experience, listed below are three reasons why this trend is occurring:

1. Access—Pornography has always been available, but until the age of the internet, had to be accessed in magazines, video tapes and often required entry into adult books stores and was difficult for teens to obtain.  Never before has sexually explicit material been so readily available and easily accessed.   A majority of teens and young adults have laptops, smart phones, I-pads and are constantly connected to the internet.  In a matter of seconds and virtually anywhere, pornography can viewed.  Internet porn is the medium by which most youth view pornography and most of it free of charge and without accountability for age of the viewer.
2. Potency of today’s Porn—There is a drastic difference between today’s online porn and the porn of just a few decades ago. Now, youth can go to countless websites and find more free porn than they could ever find the time to watch….all in high definition video. They can even pick their favorite template, hair color, sexual activity, and just watch video after video of it. It’s all free, easy to access, available within seconds, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and can be viewed on phones at any age.  Addicted teens find themselves driven to view more and more pornography and becoming more and more secretive and deceitful in their efforts to do so.  It is true that erotic photos and videos have been around a long time, but the dopamine arousal from turning the pages of a Playboy magazine can’t hold a candle to the steady stream of ever changing erotic stimulation that is so easily obtained from searching for and viewing online porn. This is why online erotica can create such powerful addictions in teens.  Today’s porn doesn’t satisfy teens’ needs; it distorts them. Teens are particularly vulnerable as the strength of the dopamine high is likely the strongest, most euphoric sensation they have ever experienced in their young lives. Skeptics need to understand this “high” rivals anything that could be achieved with drugs.
3. Diminished authentic relationships—The rising generation has been using technology on a daily basis for their entire lives and it is interfering with their ability to connect with others in a face to face and intimate manner.   Many teens text far more than they talk.  Some send more than 1000 texts a day.  Many teens spend hours and hours playing video games and interacting with “virtual friends” on Facebook while sitting at home alone and isolated from “real friends”.   Intimacy and connectedness can not occur in virtually or in cyberspace.  The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, which surveyed more than 12,000 high school students throughout the country, has noted that feelings of “connectedness” (feeling close to people at school, fairly treated by teachers, and loved and wanted at home) helped significantly to lower an individual’s likelihood of emotional distress, early sexual activity, substance abuse, violence, and suicide.  Another recent study found in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine has suggested that the more screen (computer, video game, cell phone) exposure teenagers get, the more detached they are from those around them.  There appears to be a relationship between adolescent screen time and the diminished social involvement with parents and peers.  Sexual addiction experts suggest that among the core issues driving the addiction is the lack of intimacy and fear of connectedness.

Minimizing and Denial: Fatal Flaws in how Pornography Addiction Develops

The problem with any addiction is that most people don’t know just how far down the rabbit hole they’ve traveled until it’s too late. An addict will justify their situation, or trivialize it. “It’s just a little alcohol. It’s not like I need it every second!” “Everyone does it. No need to worry.” “I can stop when I want to.”

In the case of pornography, most addicts get stuck in a cycle, and can’t begin the process of recovery until they realize the severity of their problem. Indeed, with pornography so prevalent in today’s media culture, one can easily slip into a vast pit of darkness without realizing they ever fell away from the light.

Part of the problem arises from a misguided sense of denial, or an unwillingness to recognize the full extent of the problem. Denying that the problem exists allows addicts to avoid the discomfort of the shame and embarrassment that are involved with admitting to a pornography addiction.

In actuality, modern society makes it difficult to recognize the dangers of pornography addiction. Online websites and even health care and psychology professionals continue to claim the viewing of adult material as perfectly normal, while motion pictures and television shows make light of sexual addiction, creating a sense that pornography is merely a part of our culture, thus making it difficult for an addict to recognize his or her problem — the notion that “everyone does it” remains a misguided justification.

Once an addict finally recognizes the severity of the problem, it’s important for them to seek help. Unfortunately, denial can limit progression and lead to more years of abuse. “I used to look at pornography, but I don’t do it very often anymore, so it’s not really an addiction.” The correct thinking should be, “I know I am vulnerable to viewing pornography and could easily relapse, so I have to be constantly careful to avoid being in situations where I am exposed to it.”

What many people don’t understand is that breaking the shackles of pornography addiction often requires a lifetime of management to overcome. The temptation to view pornography never subsides, meaning an addict must work on controlling their desires on a daily basis — without minimizing the overall problem.

Minimizing can be just as dangerous as denial. By making a harmful action seem less significant, we hope to lessen the consequences that may result. Often times an addict uses the words “only” or “just” while minimizing in order to lessen the blow of his or her actions.

In the television series “Breaking Bad,” the main character Walter White, who transforms from timid chemistry teacher to criminal mastermind, continually minimizes his actions. Even when said actions lead to death and the destruction of his loved ones. He claims his actions are done “only for the love of his family,” and never fully comprehends just how far he’s fallen until it’s too late.

If we deceive ourselves that our hurtful or irresponsible behaviors are no big deal, then we won’t work on changing them.  Young people struggling with pornography addiction will often minimize the problem, and say, “I only look at pornography on occasion-it’s not like I’m doing it all the time-I’m not addicted.”                   

It is possible to become addicted to pornography after only viewing it once. Even the occasional viewing is highly dangerous as it warps the mind’s overall understanding of sex, turning one of God’s greatest gifts into a vile and repulsive act that results in shame and guilt. 

The correct thought for all men and women (no matter their age) should be, “Any viewing of pornography is a serious issue and only increases my chances of forming an addiction.”

As Gordon B. Hinkley once said, “Stay away from pornography as you would avoid a serious disease. It is as destructive. It can become habitual, and those who indulge in it get so they cannot leave it alone. It is addictive.”

If you are struggling with a pornography addiction, or know someone who is, don’t trivialize it. Seek help immediately so you may enjoy a life free of guilt and shame, full of happiness, friends, and love. 

Parenting Pitfall # 1: Cater to his/her every need--a sure way create entitlement issues in your kids

Parents don't do their children any favors when they reward an entitlement mentality in the home. When parents provide their children with unwarranted reinforcement, they stagnate their children’s coping capacity for handling the future realities of what it takes to be a successful young adult.  Recent studies show that this new "entitled generation" display high rates of mental health problems, loneliness, isolation and failure in their young marriages.

Hyper-vigilant parents who attempt to solve every problem for their child and can’t fathom the thought of their child being uncomfortable are doing them no favors.  Too many of these parents self-deceive and believe they are engaged in good parenting. Children of hyper-vigilant parents who have become accustomed to having the things they desire, often times, instantaneously, become entitled.  Over time, they develop a low frustration tolerance, a lack of patience, and a complete inability to deal with discomfort of any type on any level.

Too many parents today are going to great lengths to take the struggles out of life for their children. Isn’t this what good, caring parents do? Unfortunately, parental hyper-vigilance tends to make children more fragile, rather than more equipped, which explains why many of today’s youth are increasingly incapable of managing demands of life.

Some experts have labeled the youth of today as the "entitled generation".  Many teens today have become accustomed to getting what they want immediately.  Delaying gratification is the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward.  Many teens today have a desire for nice things, but they don’t want to work hard for the money to obtain nice things. Too many struggle with entitlement believing that they “deserve it” or “they are owed it”.

  “Compared to previous generations, recent high-school graduates are more likely to want lots of money and nice things but less likely to say they’re willing to work hard to earn them,” according to the author of a recent study on the topic of entitlement among the rising generation. “That type of ‘fantasy gap’ is consistent with other studies showing a generational increase in narcissism and entitlement.”

A prime example of this is the number of elementary aged and middle school youth who have their own smart phones, but do absolutely nothing to earn the privilege of the device.  Those few kids who don’t have a smart phone, feel deprived and many attempt to convince their parents of this. The pressures in middle school only get worse in high school as kids no longer simply ask for a cell phone, but for a car, a personal laptop and spending cash at will.  Teen entitlement and inability to delay gratification are major problems in today’s culture.

Family Bootcamp is the ideal intervention for assisting parents to eliminate the entitlement mentality from their teens and provide teens with a first-hand experience in delaying gratification.  Upon arriving at the Family Bootcamp offices, the ceremonial “trade” happens where the teen hands over his/her smart phone and other hand held digital devices, and its place is given a stainless steel cooking pot which will be used for cooking meals on a camp fire for the next five days while the teen experiences life unplugged from technology and learning to survive in the high desert of Utah.  Those five days allow the teen to explore who he/she outside of their technology, friends and other material items for which they had previously developed a sense of entitlement.  Without these dependencies to hide behind, teens have to face who they really are, which sometimes can be an uncomfortable realization.

A mistaken belief many parents possess is assuming that children can't handle difficult situations. Too often parents assume that if kids start getting into difficulty they need to rush in and do it for them, rather than let them flounder a bit and learn from it.   Family Bootcamp allows children to navigate a difficult situation on their own.

There is a lesson in this for all parents.  Those who allow their kids to find a way to deal with life's day-to-day stresses by themselves are helping them develop resilience and coping strategies.  The goal of parenting is to raise an independent human being, capable of managing the demands of life.  At some point in their childhood, most kids will be forced to confront their own mediocrity.

Family Bootcamp: an unforgettable weekend for parents and struggling teens

It’s fair to say everyone wishes for a life devoid of problems, struggles and trials. An ideal world for parents would consist of picket fences; happy children and leisurely family vacations.

The harsh reality is that, while happy scenarios like the one above do exist, parenting is chock full of trying circumstances — addiction, abuse, conflicts, bad habits, etc. — that ultimately push parents to the brink. How we deal with life’s difficulties ultimately defines who we are.

Yet, overcoming such obstacles oftentimes requires more than a little help. Enter Therapy Associates, a program founded in 2008 that specializes in the treatment of children, teens and their parents, providing guidance and healing with the problems that families face in today’s society.

“Therapy Associates brings together a team of licensed clinical psychotherapists who have worked with thousands of teens and families throughout the United States,” said co-founder Matt Bulkley.

Bulkley explained that one of the most difficult challenges facing children and parents is video game and pornography addiction, a result of the technology boom that makes viewing adult material a lot easier than ever before.

On top of that, with the advent of cell phones, laptops and gaming consoles, kids are becoming increasingly dependent on technology and thus losing grip on reality.

“Most kids have never experience a single day in their lives unplugged from all technology,” Bulkley said. “They have not developed the ability to manage the demands of life without escape into technology, gaming, etc.”

“Entitlement, technology addiction, lack of frustration tolerance, depression, anxiety, laziness, disrespect to authority, lack of direction, substance use and impatience are all consequences of this trend.”

Bulkley and his Therapy Associates partners devised a solution to help in the battle against technology overload, a unique outdoors adventure known as Family Bootcamp.

Based in St. George, Utah, a locale packed to the brim with amazing scenery and exotic locales, Family Bootcamp provides youth and parents with a life changing, five-day intense, therapeutic wilderness experience in the heart of the high desert, majestic red rocks of the southwest.

“Family Bootcamp differs from traditional wilderness and residential programs because it is short-term — just five days — as opposed to nine to 12 months,” Bulkley said. “It falls in an area missing from traditional treatment. We don't believe in a ‘one-sided’ therapeutic approach ... with the Family Bootcamp — parents are involved too.  So, while the youth are experiencing the wilderness, parents remain in St. George and participate in an intensive two-day ‘Parenting Bootcamp.’

”The cost is vastly different as well — $2,500 as opposed to $50,000 to $100,000 that other facilities would charge.”

During the process, youth will experience a weekend devoid of anything technology related.

“No cell phones, no computers, no TV,” said Kena Frey, LCSW. “Being unplugged from all technology and outside communication provides a strong ‘wake up call moment’ for the youth to focus and take responsibility for the simple day-to-day tasks of their well-being including cooking, caring for their supplies and learning to use only the elements of the desert to live.”

Under the direction of Dr. Dan Sanderson, PhD, parents engage in two days of comprehensive parenting sessions focused on the discovery and disruption of unhealthy family dynamics.

“The wilderness is a wake up call, a time for reflection and a chance for kids and teens to explore who they are as individuals, away from technology, friends and the amenities of modern society,” Sanderson said.

The program takes place over a long weekend — Thursday through Monday — thus minimizing school and work absences. The location affords plenty of recreation for families during their time in St. George, as they can explore Zion’s National Park or golf on one of the many courses located in the area.

“A Family Bootcamp is the ideal intervention for families that are not yet ready to place their teen in a long-term residential treatment program, but are seeking help learning to manage problematic behaviors that are occurring in the home,” Bulkley said. “It is a great substitute for a family weekend/vacation and a highly effective way to combat family problems and find solutions.”   

For more information on Family Bootcamp, including prices, dates and additional resources visit www.familybootcamp.org.

"Failure to Launch Syndrome" and the Enabling Parent

Developmental stagnation in the transition phase between high school and the adult world is a problem that increasingly impacts families across the country. Recent studies suggest that over 70% of young men 18-30 still live at home with their parents and many of these young adults are not employed, attending college or otherwise working to become independent from their parents.  Many have termed this increasingly common phenomena as “Failure to Launch”. 

While it is true that finding a job and financing an education is more difficult than in past generations, too many young adult men are stagnated in their development and continue to approach life acting as if they are still teens attending high school.  Without any sense of urgency to move forward to the next stage in life, they become increasingly focused on being entertained, often with hours of video games, social media and pornography at the expense of developing the self-discipline needed to manage the demands of life in the adult world. 

Rather than allowing these young adults to continue on their “developmental vacation”, parents need to insist that their adult children continue on the path toward responsible adulthood.  Our society does not need more young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained.   There are already too many young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world.

Sometimes, the problem is as much the parents as it is the young adult.  Parents need to learn to take a hard stand and require their young adult children to step up and be responsible.  Too many parents enable their adult child’s bad behavior, by allowing them to remain unemployed, to live at home without responsibility, to not pursue additional education and to focus their time and energy on hedonistic pursuits, rather than developing self-discipline.

Parents who find themselves with an adult child on developmental vacation often struggle to use “tough love” and despite knowing they are enabling bad behavior, continue to reward their adult child’s irresponsibility by simply doing nothing.   For parents who need a boost of support, Family Bootcamp can help.  Dr. Dan Sanderson and his team of clinical psychotherapists have worked with hundreds of families who have struggled with the failure to launch dilemma.  During the five day Family Bootcamp  that runs Thursday through Monday, parents spend their time with Dr. Sanderson in the developmental vacation parent seminar.  The young adults spend the five days learning to live in the remote Utah desert unplugged from all technology and away from the amenities of modern society.  The Family Bootcamp provides both parents and the young adult with a “wake-up call” and a strong reminder of the need for young adults to develop into responsible individuals capable of making a contribution to society.

Parental Hyper-vigilance: The Great Paradox of Parenting

Parents today are going to great lengths to take the struggles out of life for their children. Isn’t this what good, caring parents do? Unfortunately, parental hyper-vigilance tends to make children more fragile, rather than more equipped, which explains why many of today’s youth are increasingly incapable of managing demands of life.

This is the great paradox of parenting.  Well intended parents who want their children to be successful inadvertently shield them from the very lessons that will allow them to become successful.  No parent wants to see their child suffer and fail, but taking the discomfort, disappointment and struggle from their development only robs them of developing resilience and coping strategies.

Children of hyper-vigilant parents are left to manage few challenges all their own which leaves them unprepared for learning to manage the challenges that life will most assuredly provide. Over time, it stagnates a child’s development and makes them susceptible for depression, anxiety and lack of self-confidence. These mental health issues then create additional difficulties for the teen struggling to find his/her identity during the adolescent years.

Hyper-vigilant parents who attempt to solve every problem for their child and can’t fathom the thought of their child being uncomfortable are doing them no favors.  Too many of these parents self-deceive and believe they are engaged in good parenting.

Children of hyper-vigilant parents who have become accustomed to having the things they desire, often times, instantaneously, become entitled.  Over time, they develop a low frustration tolerance, a lack of patience, and a complete inability to deal with discomfort of any type on any level. 

The unfortunate reality for these children is that life is full of discomfort.  As these children go through their teen years they are unable to solve problems and deal with the daily dilemmas they encounter.  These seemingly small dilemmas become the genesis of the mental health issues including depression anxiety, substance use, technology and video game addictions.

There is a lesson in this for all parents.  Those who allow their kids to find a way to deal with life's day-to-day stresses by themselves are helping them develop resilience and coping strategies.  The goal of parenting is to raise an independent human being, capable of managing the demands of life.  At some point in their childhood, most kids will be forced to confront their own mediocrity.

A mistaken belief many parents possess is assuming that children can't handle difficult situations. Too often parents assume that if kids start getting into difficulty they need to rush in and do it for them, rather than let them flounder a bit and learn from it.   

Communication is key for preventing teen drug abuse

Confronting teen drug abuse can be a difficult endeavor for parents.  Often, parents are not fully aware of the extent that the teen is using drugs, and the teen is in denial about the impact that their substance abuse is having on their life. All too often, the drug of choice for teens is becoming prescription drugs.  Teen alcohol use also continues to pose a significant risk for today’s youth.   Intervening early and getting help is key to preventing a teen from spiraling into a full blown addiction.  Research shows that parental communication with their teens about drug and alcohol use is vital.  When the communication breaks down, then professional help in the form of family therapy is needed.  Listed below are twelve facts about teen drug use:

1.       More teens die from prescription drugs than heroin/cocaine combined.

2.       More than 60 percent of teens said that drugs were sold, used, or kept at their school.

3.        1 in 9 high school seniors has tried Spice/K2 (synthetic marijuana).

4.       4.  1.3 percent of seniors have used bath salts – which is incredibly disturbing given its adverse side effects.

5.       Young people who drink alcohol are 50 times more likely to use cocaine than teens who never drink.

6.       About 64 percent of teens surveyed who have abused pain relievers say they got them from friends or relatives.

7.       In 2012, 15 percent of high school seniors used prescription drugs. However, 35 percent feel regular use is risky.

8.       Around 28 percent of teens know a friend or classmate who has used ecstasy, with 17 percent knowing more than one user.

9.       Adderall use (often prescribed to treat ADHD) has increased among high school seniors from 5.4 percent in 2009 to 7.6 percent.

10.   Only 35 percent of 12th graders believe that using Adderall occasionally is risky.

11.    By the 8th grade, 29.5 percent of adolescents have consumed alcohol, 15.5 percent have smoked cigarettes, and 15 percent have used marijuana.

12.   Teens whose parents talk to them regularly about the dangers of drugs are 42 percent less likely to use drugs than those whose parents don't. However, only a quarter of teens report having these conversations.

13.    6.5 percent of high school seniors smoke daily, up from 5.1 percent five years ago. Meanwhile, only 20.6 percent of 12th graders think occasional use is harmful, while 44 percent see regular use as harmful (lowest numbers since 1983).

Struggling with your Teen? Give him/her a Weekend Wake-Up Call!

Seasoned parents often agree that the years spent parenting teens are among the most challenging.  Some draw a comparison between the “terrible two’s” and the teen years as children in both stages are known for throwing temper tantrums, being stubborn, unreasonable and attempting to exert their independence.  Parents hope that in both stages, that children outgrow the phase and begin to exhibit more acceptable behavior.

When behavior problems in teens continue to escalate despite parents best efforts, then sometimes outside intervention is necessary.  Treatment programs for teens are very costly and typically range between $5,000 to $10,000 per month and most programs require that youth remain in the program for around one year or longer.  Unfortunately, many families simply can’t afford this price tag.   Some families utilize a local therapist and outpatient therapy can be helpful and many families benefit from outpatient services. However, most outpatient therapy is only one hour per week and is just not enough intervention as the teen will quickly revert to problematic behaviors shortly after leaving the therapist’s office.

A unique and impactful intervention for struggling teens and their parents is Family Bootcamp. www.familybootcamp.org.  Based in beautiful St. George, Utah; the Family Bootcamp provides  teens and parents with a life-changing five day intense, therapeutic wilderness experience in the heart of the high desert, majestic red rocks in Southern Utah.   Family Bootcamp is the ideal intervention for families that are not yet ready or able to place their teen in a long-term residential treatment program but are seeking help learning to manage problematic behaviors that are occurring in the home.

Teens at Family Bootcamp trade in their smart phone for a sleeping bag and a cooking pot and experience  a “strong wake-up call” over a five-day weekend (Thursday through Monday) that life as they had been living it, needs to change.   Rather than spending the weekend hanging out with friends and disregarding family rules and responsibility, teens at Family Bootcamp spend the weekend hiking and camping in the high desert of Utah unplugged from all technology and the amenities of modern society.  Their parents also spent the weekend in St. George, Utah participating in a two day parenting-seminar and obtaining valuable instruction, education and support for changing the family dynamics that are contributing to the teen’s acting out problems.

If you are struggling with a teen-aged child and want a “weekend wake-up call” then Family Bootcamp is for you!